Jerry, you need to find god
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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