omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
