i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
