I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
