Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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