I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
