we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
