Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
