Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
