I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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