who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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