oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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