i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
we're so committed to being not committed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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