We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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