IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
