Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
