You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
