i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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