It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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