Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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