Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
