Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
