We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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