its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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