I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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