By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
