The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
