im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
