why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
not ubering you a puppy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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