I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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