I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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