This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
