somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
