Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
