I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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