pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
either way he was missing a nipple.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
