I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
