The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
