Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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