I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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