Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
