What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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