I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
