some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
