Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
