that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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