tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize