I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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