Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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