Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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