i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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